Take up the challenge.

Don't cry, young man.

Take it as a chance to grow up. Pause, take a deep breath, and keep walking.

When you are down and really cannot take it and no one's there for you, don't worry, sit down in your room and talk to Jack, sleep, wake up fresh and keep pushing.

There's always a silver lining to all the storms in the world.

Reforming my lines.

Ate the burger, drank the green tea. Suddenly the world seems like a beautiful place again.


I want to be in control in my life.

I will not let love, health, studies and the society take me down.

I have learnt to be tough after the incident.

I know what I should do now.

I will fight back.

I will not back down.

I will go home and hug my mom and let her know I fought well.

it had to be good..

OK I've not studied this hard before in university. SO this time it has to be good although I know chemistry is never my strength, and adding a bio- to make it biochemistry doesn't make much difference. But God, bless me please.

need more ... more...

shit man.. met that dude and he told me he might be joining next year. shit.. daugh.. shitty daug.

Seriously, all these shits must be unf***ed. It's not gonne be easy dauwg but it gotta be done !

God bless me.

Serious things aside, it's great to see how things are going well in the block. Where young guys get interested in young girls and young girls happily play around with those young guys' flirt. Motherf***in awesome. XXX you see, boys, are the key to a happy hostel life among those young dudes. I know it's an ugly secret but hell yeah this is how things work out.

seriously need to unf*** all these...

I don't know what kind of man am I.

Seriously when I kaopeh other people, maybe I should ask myself am I as bad as them as well ?

Hope someone up there give me a chance, to unf*** all these shits.

if...

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven ..

Cause I hope you won't ; and I do.

never again..

I will never ever do it again. I will NEVER !!

I'm a monster...

Looking back. Comparing what I am now to who I used to be. Felt that I've become a monster. A big big big ugly horrible scary monster. God bless this lost monster. For now he is very lost.

The start of a new charge..

OK.. This semester my attitude will be "do-or-die" !

So be it. Don't look back and point your lance to your front. And show them who you are !

Hell.

Hell is man-made. I don't believe that every place must be destined to be hell for anyone at a particular time. Change your perception. Think around from another perspective. There's always a silver lining to the dark clouds of the darkest storm in your life. Pilot yourself away from fear and your personal perceptions. There are a few more billions of people in this world. Your perception isn't the real thing. You're just living your dream. Dreaming of your pathetic life.

Hey you ... Happy New Year

Hey you ! You know who am I talking to. Happy New Year. Throw away the bitter 2010. Embrace and make 2011 a sweet one. Stay tough and hang on. Everything will be fine. For all you need you still got me to hang on to. So .... Happy New Year.

Seriously... I'm Missing You

Sigh... Seriously seriously seriously...I'm missing you very much.

Hope to spend this new year eve with you... to give ourself a new year ahead.

God Bless Us.

I don't feel emo at all...

Weird. I'm not feeling emo at all. After the bloody results. Surprising.

And I'm aware of my weaknesses.. they're like at my fingertips. And knowing how to cope with them.

This feeling.... feels very powerful. I think it's a good start. Good start.

after tonight...

After tonight... I don't know when I'll be back in this boring but peaceful home town of mine. Maybe the beginning to January ? Maybe in February for Chinese New Year ?

Well.. Certainly I want to make it back in town for good. Grandma grandpa looks frail and daddy looks fat (when I'm around he'll surely do some exercise to keep his weight down.)

All and all.. and above all... I felt that there's something still lingering around that I must settle. However, all these cases are located at the two ends of Malaysia. At the extreme North, and the Southern tip. I felt stretched... thanks to my flexibility I'm still surviving, but it has taken a toll on me, badly.

1 week later my results will be out. Should I log in and look at it ? Or should I just ignore it and continue studying ? I personally preferred the second choice. For all I've managed to pull back all the pieces together now is the time to start running. I can't afford to be smashed up again. Yes I can't.

Summer Pearl Night..

Bored... asked a few friends out for bubble tea. Been to Summer Pearl. No hot chicks. No boobies. No sexy mudabytch. Sad nia. Sungai Petani need to up it's standard to welcome home it's hometown perverts like me. FML.

..........

Boring and boring and boring........

Feel like going out but hell things ain't cheap back home !

Cold.... and it's cold and it's cold...

It's cold .... when you're alone.

A young man with an empty hand, empty pocket... and bottles of beer.

I walk alone.

Writing this for myself...

Wan Zi Yi... This post is written at 23rd November 2010.. the day before you first paper in semester 1. I know how you feel. Because I'm you.

You regret. You want to cry. But you can't dude. Mom and Dad's gonna kill you soon. You let them down. You disappoint them. You lied to them ? Let's think about what we did in Semester 1 2010/2011.

For what ? You waste quite a lot of time there and you lost track of your homework... the worse thing happens. You start skipping lectures ! Yes ! You skipped a lot of lectures although all of them have webcasts !

But you know what... when you skipped the lectures you are sleeping in your room !!!!! Why must you waste your time like this ? You should not do this again, I repeat. You SHALL NOT BEHAVE LIKE THIS AGAIN in future. If you do, You are DOOOMED.

That basically the main problem with you this semester. Study wise, I admit, we studied more than what we did. BUT THAT's still not enough. Need to work harder ! Consistently !! NO SLACKING. !!

Next semester, This is the average day plan. And I'm glad that you managed to sleep early and wake up early nowadays. It is very very essential for your future ! This is how normal people's clock works and you don't fight this war alone, dude. You fought this war with the help of people that sleep and wakes in this hours.

• 6.00am Wake up and brush your teeth.. Go out and have a walk for 15 minutes. Walk to Fong Seng to buy coffee also nice. Just wake up with an aim not not studying. Wake up to buy coffee, and you will definitely wake up.
• 7.00am Coffee is with you and you reach your room. Start your studies. Read up on what's going to be taught today and also what is taught yesterday.
• 8.00am If there is lecture, GO ! If not, study more !!
• 9.30am I'm sure your mind is saturated now, game allowed, but only 1 hour.
• 10.00am If got lecture GO !
• 10.30am Back to business, revise the materials from 2 weeks ago.
• 12.00pm Go lecture ! If not, go to eat lunch with your friends !
• 2.00pm Don't care got lecture or no lecture, you must be in science faculty, either study in the canteen or S16 or whereever. No need to bring laptop.
• 4.00pm Go to Lecture.
• 5.00pm Move to YIH now. If not, then stay for lecture. Buy a cup of coffee and chill.
• 6.00pm Go back hall for dinner with mates.
• 7.00pm Sleep, for 1 hour. OR watch sunset OR go walk ! You seriously seriously need this time off, trust me.
• 8.00pm Recap on what was taught today and also prepare for any tutorial questions.
• 10.00pm Buffer time. Just in case hall activity took up your time.

Things to do once you come back from Malaysia :

1. Buy a toner for your printer and set up printer. If printer spoil, buy a new one seriously.
2. Clean up your room to be conducive for studies.
3. Buy a new desktop.
4. Buy a pair of slim fit grey jeans for yourself. Buy good one. Maybe GAP ? Or Armani Jeans

That's all for now. Let's move on, dude. MOVE ON.

Your crying face...

I swear I almost break down into tears when I see your crying face in my mind on that bad afternoon on 31st December 2009...

I turned back ... waving hand at you while walking into the security checkpoint... and you are standing at the other side... waving back... crying.

Sorry. Sorry for all that I've done wrong. Really sorry.

Boy..

Boy..

Months have passed..

Can you wake up ? From this shadowy grey life ?

Can you rise ? Can you fight back ?

Trees and logs have fallen on you but you never die... You are still breathing.

Now all you need to do is just stand up. And run.

Run for it. Run for it. Run for it.